Gods just been showing me how different this year is than I expected it to be. Its my first year not in school and I thought it would be super freeing and just fun. This year is fun! and in a way I never expected.
It's weird not having an end goal in sight, Im not living just to get through this semester, or through this test, or through nursing school. I am out in the world living life just to live. I was really depressed for my first few months out in the real world, I felt like I had no purpose, no goal, no reason to get up every morning. I know dramatic, but its something I struggle with. Unless I have a goal in mind, its hard for me to be motivated and want to try hard at what Im doing, it feels endless and dumb. Luckily God is smarter than my ADD.
I asked God just to show me His will and plan. I went to a medical conference that just opened my eyes to how extremely lucky I am to be able to care for his children at their most vulnerable times, and show them His love and comfort. I know the way I care for my patients has changed, I don't feel unatached anymore, but I don't feel overwhelmed by their problems. I pray for them everyday before during and after work and let God take care of them.
I also just recently got the opportunity to move into more of a leadership position with CRU. because of unfortunate circumstances I know get to be the girl leader for one of the community groups and follow up with the freshman and non-leader girls. I was over joyed, I had been praying for God to show me how he was going to use me and what he wanted me to do, and he showed me EXACTLY how he was going to use me in both my work and my volunteering.
On top of all of that he has been showing me how to appreciate each day as it comes. I love my roomates and they are teaching me how to let loose and love God without worrying about my next goal. they are goofy, but real. I love them so much and God has sure blessed our friendships.
I never thought I could feel content, but I do.
Also....this is my life